Facade

12 May 2016

Facade

Where should I go now? What should I do? What do I want from this?

Strangely, I managed to cope till now. My facade has become a coping mechanism. Perhaps I made this fake facade and hid behind it so that I dont have to talk about myself and all the emotions in me. When I open up, I feel too bare. Too vulnerable. I have no idea how I will bring myself up again if I decide to truly open up and talk about everything.

Am I willing to break the calm for something that could be worse? Is the risk to find peace within myself worse than giving up the so-called "calmness" that is present now? Do I have the courage and strength? I am not sure if I am willing to risk everything to address the issue. Especially since things may get worse than it already is.

I do have some kind of strength and courage. But I do have pain too. And no, I am not a "good" person. "Good" is very subjective.